Look. Okay. But you have to promise not to tell Pickles. Things might become awkward.

Clarence knew Pickles. Well, they had Bio together. They sat a couple people apart every day. Clarence was following Pickles. Not following. Just watching. Oh, not watching, that sounds creepy. She was looking at him-- for a second, you know. She was in the Brew. He was there too. On the couch behind her. She kept sneaking her head around, pretending to look for someone coming through the door. He was sitting next to some skinny slut and they were discussing something. She didn't know. They had a plan. It sounded ... devious. They were going to steal something. A box. A shoebox. Clarence thought they were going to steal shoes. She doesn't approve of stealing. But she realized that Pickles had needed knew shoes for months now, his old ones were practically worn through on the side and-- oh god. She had it bad. She didn't know what to do. So she

grabbed her purse and went down the street to the shoe store. She wandered up and down aisles, moping and sighing. A salesman asked her if he could get her a pair of shoes. She said, "Yes. Those red ones. Size 7 1/2." But before he came back, she had seen a pair of green shoelaces. Pickles had green shoelaces. She could buy them and then start up a conversation: "hey, i see we have matching shoelaces." She knew it was a sign. But as she reached her hand out for them, her brain realized her purse only contained 83 cents. She had spent 2. 49 cents at the Brew on her large Italian soda. And the shoelaces were 1. 99. Damn. Her fingers, however, had not made this realization. They closed around the shoelaces and stuffed them into her coat. Her feet pushed her down the aisle and out the door before her morals could protest. She was out. She was free. She had the key to Pickles' heart.

Clarence had been too scared to wear the shoelaces, lest Pickles notice and then realize that she had it bad for him. However, she cut one short and tied it around her wrist and pushed it up under her long sleeves. No one even dreamed she hid a green shoelace sign of love on that dreadful day when she followed Pickles to that abandoned building. She just wanted to see if he was meeting that girl again. Then she would go away. She wondered that Pickles had never noticed her follow him all these times-- then again, she was extremely adept at disguise. She had an almost magical skill at not being seen. She noticed that Pickles was disappearing up a staircase she had never seen before on a street she had never been on before. She didn't know what to do except what she had been doing. She went up the staircase. She saw Pickles in one room, but it was too small for the both of them (he'd definitely notice her) so she went on to another. In the room was a small bed, on top of which was a shoebox tied with green shoe laces. She knew it was meant for Pickles. She should hide. She should run away and pretend
she'd never been there. She should tell Pickles it was in here. Oh, What was in the shoebox? What was Pickles so desperately after? She grabbed it and moved to take off the laces. She heard Pickles move down the hallway toward the room. She ducked under the bed with the box and saw Pickles' worn-through shoes enter the room and shuffle around. He muttered something about, "Never dependable," and he was gone. She was stunned. What had she done?

She spent 3 hours that night debating whether or not to open the box. When the cops asked her what she had been doing all night at her house, she said, "Studying for my Bio exam." They asked if anyone could confirm her alibi. "Um... no, I don't think so." No one believed her alibi the next day when they found out she failed her Bio exam.

And, yes: She peeked in the box.

And, finally: no that wasn't spinach. She's allergic. Deathly allergic.

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