I watched Superman Returns the other day. This was my reaction:

the second coming. it’s not even subtle a little bit. the voice of farm-boy jesus’ real alien father says “you walk among the mortals but you are not one of them. because of their capacity for good, i have sent them my only son” - and people discuss whether they need this super-jesus-savior, and then he gets crucified by (and this is the good part) kevin spacey and parker posey. cyclops is there, but instead of shooting fire from his eyes, he just gets jealous of jesus, who happens to be stalking his wife and listening in on all their conversations with his super-jesus powers. then cyclops flies a plane and saves jesus from his first death, and jesus has a little baby sequel with big blue jesus-sequel eyes and flies off into the night like tinkerbell or santa-clause saying “i’ll always be around”. and i believe him. he’ll always be around stalking poor married women and watching and listening to their every move and conversation and having little sequel babies that will grow into big sequel blockbusters with super-sequel jesus powers to stalk more women on bigger and bigger home entertainment systems. oh i just can’t wait for that third coming.

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