we not only have entries from:
Indiana
California
Wisconsin
New York
and Michigan

we now also have participants from:
London
and South Korea

someone correct me if there's more

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it's crunch time. we're all running around pushing for entries, developing assignments, figuring out the logistics of the day - and now rehearsing our own little addition to the event.

that's right, since we'll be stending the day of walking around in lab coats, hiding behind clip-boards, observing the rest of you lab-rats and occasionally injecting dangerous sometimes-deadly hormones into your veins, we get to start rehearsing our bit early.

Emily, Michelle and Ben are at it right now - as i post - with the help of our new co/lab stage manager Deanne Binde (thanks Deanne). What they are trying to do is this:

SEPARATE:
1. write down your three to five favorite moments from our assignments last week. be specific about what you liked.
2. write down your three to five favorite moments and/or lines and/or images from our writing assignments
3. write down three super-sweet character names

TOGETHER:
1. compile your moments/lines/images.
2. take an hour to create a ten minute multi-scene play using:
- at least five of your compiled favorite moments
- at least three of your compiled favorite lines
- one super-sweet character name per person
- at least one repeated scene
- at least one scene directly out of another assignment
- no major new material
- moments of anti-action comedy
- moments of extremes: tempo and spacial relationship
- at least one scene repeated in reverse
- three surprises and a role for the audience
- a beginning, a middle and an end
- destruction of all relevant stereotypes
- abrupt ending with broken expectations

3. I'll join you. Then we'll spend the rest of the week turning it into hard-core action theatre.

ERIC,
New World International Interdisciplinary Action Comedy Research CoLaborative

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The Scene is on the courthouse lawn.

Person X, a young woman in a black dress with a white purse drives up in a limo. She calmly lets herself out of the car and walks to the fountain and sits on the edge. She is looking directly forward when she says. . .

X: Where is Arundo?
A voice from behind the fountain replies: He is waiting for you inside the courthouse, madam, if you'd like to go in and see him.
X: No, thank you, Ramon.
Ramon: I guess you know where not to step. You always were prepared, exxy. (He stands up but stays behind the fountain)
X: Don't call me that. No one calls me that anymore.
R: No, not anymore. Not since. . . ( pause_
X: Since?
R: (decidedly) Since.
X: Look, Ramon. I need to get Arundo out. He's not involved in this. You're not even involved in this.
R: (indignantly) Well, not since--
X: Since?
R: (sheepishly) Since.
X: Look Ramon! Help me?
R: Why should I do that?
X: Because we're best friends.
R: Since when?
X: Since. . . (searching_
R: We were best friends, exxy. Then since. . .
X: (threateningly) Since. . .
R: Ok, I see it's still touchy.
X: Touchy! You killed her, Ramon! My grandmother! And for what?! A disturbingly small part in the company's pathetic plot at world domination. Look how it's crippled you!
R: It wasn't pathetic! Just . . . ill-timed. Look, if you want help, you're not going to get it from me.
X: I knew it. And since you're not going to be helping me, you're not going to be giving anyone else help either. Not since. . .
R: Since. . .?
X: Since this!
(X lifts her purse, pure white, and as she effortlessly chucks it at him, a bomb goes off from inside. She climbs the steps to the courthouse as she pulls guns out of amazingly small places in her dress.)
X: I'll step wherever I damn well want to, Ramon.
She goes inside.

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Two older men (A and B), a larger one and a skinny one are standing in the doorway of the courthouse. One is wearing a black sweater, the other a yellow cardigan. they are talking and jiggling their keys.

A: That's what I told her.

B: (laughs and looks around)

A: Excuse my french, but it's true.

B: Right...

A: I mean - not in a bad way of course - but still. She is.

B: This isn't right.

A: You're just talkin'.

C and D, a young couple, enter the courthouse. "Excuse me" "Excuse us". C is a thinly veild hippy (male) and D is very well dressed (female). She is obviously a bit annoyed with him, but more interested in her hair. The older men watch as they pass, nod and let them through.

D: Why can't you ever just--

C: Come on...

They enter the courthouse.

A: Now that. That, my friend...

B: (VERY SUDDENLY) Seventeen.

A: (Taken back) Are you sure?

B: No doubt in my mind. Let's go.

A: You can't just--

B: Come on.

A: Seventeen?

B: Seventeen.

A: What about the last two?

B: Trust me.

A: Ass hole.

A follows B off. There is a silence broken by voices from inside the courthouse.

C: Stop messing with your hair.

D: Don't talk.

C: Whatever.

D: I'm counting.

C: Counting what?

D: Shhh...

A dog barks.

D: Fourteen.

C: Christ's sake.

D: It's our only choice.

C: Wasn't my idea.

D: SHHH.

Dog.

C: What's that?

D: Shhhh....

C: (too loud) TWENTY-SEVEN.

D ignores him.

C: THIRTY-TWO. This is stupid.

again.

C: SEVENTEEN!

D: NO! Not yet!

C: SEVENTEEN!

D: Don't!

C: SEVENTEEN!

D: NO!

A and B are revealed in hiding. they have a button.

A&B: Seventeen...

D: FIFTEEN!

Dog.

D: SIXTEEN!

EVERYTHING EXPLODES

A: Seventeen.

B just walks away, unimpressed.

A: Good work.

The End.

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i gave Bobby Meyer-Lee a personal invite to the Co-Lab. He can't make it but here's his action-response:

Thanks for the invite. Here's my one idea: have someone who looks like Matt Dillon, being chased by cops, turn and pull out a gun he well knows is fake or unloaded, and get shot 17 times. This is how the 1st 3 movies Dillon made end. You'd think he'd learn. Okay, perhaps a too obscure pop cultural reference.

Thanks Bobert.

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This is the assignment I gave over a week ago to the Action Comedy Crew:

(In nice cursive letters) Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is:

DEMONSTRATE HOW THE MOST EVIL VILLAIN IN THE WORLD BECAME EVIL:

The scene, approximately five minutes long, must include:

-no more than 3 speaking lines, all of which much include a hyperbole
-30 seconds of song and dance (synchronization optional)
-surveillance
-15 seconds of just really loud noise
-15 seconds of intense staring
-an innocent bystander

I learned a lot from the scene. Some of the more prominent lessons are . . .

-if you hide people and make it sound like they're getting punched and kicked and slammed around, the audience feels like they really are being beaten up.

-the audience has to be taken into account for all decisions

-space must be used wisely

-inanimate objects are people too

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Michelle already described the writing assignment we did tonight. I followed mostly the same instructions as everybody else (I used an earlier rule and destroyed the cardboard that I got in the handoff after I'd written on my hand), but my evening turned out a little differently than the rest. First, my scene never really became comic or action. Second, it was interrupted by a really interesting conversation. But first, what I did write:

Three things that I wrote on my hand from the cardboard I received:
- strangers are the only ones you can trust
- extensive knowledge of local architecture
- all come at the same time

[street outside restaurant. Main Street. Jack and Henrey exit from within. Jack is young and wearing black-pants, turtleneck, nice shoes. Henry is old and wearing grey pants plust a yellow sweater. They are wealthy.]

Henry: I told him that he'd gone too far. He doesn't have a job. He lives out of his car. All he cares about is getting drunk on other people's booze. So when he started breaking things in my living room--maliciously, this was no accident--I told him he was no longer welcome. No more drinking at my house. No more parties. No more passing out on my couch...

Jack: Look at the dental work on this house.

Henry: Huh?

Jack: Just look at it. The current paint job obscures the details, I know. But if it were properly highlighted it would really be stunning. You can tell by the spacing between the blocks that this house represents an acrhitectural shift--a sort of melting pot--between an Earlier Victorian style that never made it quite this far west and a more modern Arts and Crafts look.

Henry: What are you talking about?

Jack: The dentals.

[A woman passes them, walking quickly. She is wearing a camo hunting jacket, carrying a digital camera, and smoking. She bumps into Jack's shoulder.]

Jack: Excuse me.

Henry: This town is full of hicks.

Jack do you really not know what dentas are?

Henry: I know when they're in my mouth.

Jack: They're the regularly spaced pieces of wood set under an eve. Think crown-molding but outside and broken into chunks.

Henry: Whetever.

[Woman passes them again walki]

And that was when the man who inspired the woman character (the description is the same, I only made the character a woman to fulfill the gender requirement for the script) stopped and asked me if I was writing a letter. He proceeded to tell me that he was a poet and we had a long conversation about writing and his life, ending in me getting a disk of his poetry. He was a really neat guy, not a mean hick, as Henry supposed. I'm still trying to get over the sad details of his life the absolutely brilliant moments in our conversation.

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Annabelle meanders down the street.
One hand is in her pocket.
She passes Jorge, sitting in his van.
She loiters.
He puts on big, black nerdy glasses, gets out of his van, walks to a bench and takes out a notebook.
Looks around carefully, begins to write.
Annabelle meanders over near him, watches - he doesn't see her.
Annabelle begins to whistle. Jorge looks annoyed.
He takes out his false teeth, picks a piece of lettuce out of them, puts them back in. Looks around furtively.
Annabelle stops whistling.
Long silence.
Suddenly, there is a loud siren.
Jorge jumps up, takes off his glasses, throws his notebook in the bushes, and begins to run.

Annabelle: Hey!

Jorge turns.

Annabelle: Stop!

Jorge takes out his false teeth and throws them on the ground.

Jorge: 10, 9, 8, 7 -

Annabelle: No! (begins to run)

Jorge: Stop. (calm)

Susan (stepping out of guard's booth): Stop.

Jorge: 6, 5, 4 -

Annabelle: No! / Susan: Stop. / Jorge: 3, 2 -

Jorge's teeth explode. Annabelle keels over (dead?)

Susan: What were you trying to do?

Jorge: Stop.

Susan You need to keep her away from me.

Jorge: I tried

Susan: But not kill her. She's carrying the code.

Jorge: What?

Susan: The code.

Jorge: Check her pockets.

They creep close to Annabelle, begin cautiously checking her pockets. Then frantically checking her pockets.
Annabelle rolls over. Jorge and Susan scream.
Annabelle pulls a wad of paper from her mouth.

Annabelle: Is this what you're looking for? (looks like she's going to destroy it)

Jorge: Stop!

Susan: Stop!

They reach for Annabelle. She drags herself up and throws the paper at them, then falls back down.
Jorge and Susan grab the paper.

Jorge: We - Her - Han - nia - (can't really speak because his teeth are out - just for this line?)

Susan: Stop.

Jorge: Why?

Susan: I can't understand you. Let me. (reads)
"West Virginia" has gone to sleep. She is waiting until 3:00, when she will meet you in the cornfield. you will know her by the tulip in her hand. Whistle to wake her up. Then follow this map (they study it) to the ocean, where a boat will take you to safety.

Susan and Jorge run out, following the map.

Annabelle: Stop!
(pulls a tulip out of her pocket)
I'm not there yet!
(dies)

The courthouse clock chimes 12.

END

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So here's what I made them do:

create a scene with:
- an indirect view
- a center
- an unexpectedly deadly encounter
- exactly 3 objects
- time
- color
- perspective
- surprise the audience
- "shit yeah"
- only 20 minutes to prepare for a 3 minute scene.

It was swell. I think my favorite moment was sitting and watching an electrical chord lie in the middle of the hallway for a good minute and a before it was yanked out of view with an accompanying scream.

The iron appearing sneakily by my ear was ok too.

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So tonight we decided to generate some written scenes (as opposed to performed composition work). We gave ourselves an assignment, then scattered to the streets of Goshen to complete it. In the process, we attracted the attention of Dave Kendall and several random pedestrians who asked us what we were up to. What we were up to:

- Each sit on a different bench on Main Street.
- Use a piece of cardboard to write on.
- Spot all potential terrorists.
- Take note of their tactics.
- Note the first three stereotypical things you think about each person you see.
- When the FBI is no longer protecting you, take your cardboard to the next person.
- Exchange cardboards and places.
- Write something quickly in code on your new cardboard.
- Again, exchange cardboards and places with someone else.
- Decode the code you just received.
- Write a short scene based on the cardboard you now possess. Use one sheet of unlined paper, front and back.
- Your scene must include no more than 4 characters, no less than 3.
- Both genders must be represented in the characters, and there must be at least two distinctly different ages.
- The scene must take place on the courthouse square.
- One word must be used as its own line, and must be repeated at least 7 times throughout the scene.

We didn't plan how we would find each other or decide we were done. Emily and I finished at exactly the same time and met on the sidewalk by Newells. Ben got lost (or taken hostage?) and disappeared for half an hour. Eventually, we all made it back to home base. Scenes to follow...

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bad guys (in middle of robbery): "think of us as a charity."

good guy: "you know, i like that. because i'm in a mood to give." (kills them)

and that's just in the first ten minutes.

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i just saw the end on SPIKE TV (yeah, it's that kind of day) and it's based on a true story.

that's right. Frank Dux still holds world records from his Kumite career.

hoo-ah!

(next up: Today You Die (part of their Segal vs. VanDamme lineup). I hope my supper plans show up soon.)

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"I'm the decider, and I decide what's best."
-- George W. Bush

This man is classic action material.

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A couple of nights ago, we each gave assignments to each other and then just played. We found a lot of fun stuff. Eric has already posted a response to his assignment. Here is mine:

Create an interactive game that is also a fight. The rules of the game/fight have to involve looking at each other and when/how that happens, and playing "chicken" at some point. It also must include:

a slow motion crisis
a hand-held light
extreme levels of space and volume
travel through three very different environments, one of which must be a narrow passageway
action communicated in complete darkness
spoken/vocals
- "meet me in the alley"
- "less like a nutcracker, more like a guillotine"
- 3 distinctly different sound effects
- meaningless chit chat
- a made-up language

I loved it. I was forced to pay to play the game, and then was blindfolded and taken through a series of events, ending with Emily running at me with a super bright light. (I won.)

Things I especially liked:
- superbright light coming at me
- look - look - turn - look - turn - look - look - look ...
- people running up and over me via a ladder
- not knowing where I was

Things I liked/learned from other people's assignments:
- money can defer violence
- getting rid of a wallet can make the difference in getting out of a tight spot
- the trapper becomes the trappee
- puppet people in lab coats come crashing down
- loud noise behind a closed door
- whispering ominous words in the dark
- someone dropping something, trying to secretly creep out and get it, but being discovered by the bad guy (gal) (and why would it be important to get a coat hanger back in such dangerous circumstances? it must have great importance)
- an object (particularly an iron) appearing at eye level, but in peripheral vision, slowly moving forward from behind a wall
- something (like an electric iron cord) moving slowly out of sight, pausing before it's completely gone, then suddenly being yanked, accompanied by a loud scream
- two 1-minute scenes, each repeated, then the fifth scene being a mixed up version of the first two where it doesn't quite work
- lab coats, observation, taking notes
- really big guns that are as tall as me
- waffles
- rolling under a bench and falling asleep

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I found this on a sticky note on my desk. I must have written it sometime in the last while. Check it out:

character who talks on his cell phone all the time: while he's driving, while he's eating, while he's golfing, while he's fighting, while he's lifting weights and yelling in exertion. He then uses the microwaves to set off the system of a bionic ninja who [comes to life when exposed to cell phones | goes insane when exposed to cell phones | dies when exposed to cell phones | only talks to people if mediated by a cell phone].

I like the last phone. An invincible ninja who can only be negotiated with on the telephone.

It's kind of dumb, but whatever.

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I mean, just look at him.

Action Comedy Co/Lab Press Photo Shoot

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at rehearsal last night i gave this assignment:

develop a series of five one-minute scenes around the phrase: "the anti-action comedy"

all scenes must include:
a spoon
a bigger gun
audience participation
contrast
exactitude

none may include:
mime
backstory
sloptitude

take 20 min. to develop

the result was great. very exact, with no mime or backstory.

images/themes i liked:
- observation of the mundane
- the noted becoming the noter, and vice versa (re-observaion)
- searching for a spoon in a plastic fork box
- thanking the audience very seriously - with a handshake
- a mundane scene ending with someone getting shot
- "hey, um. you guys want to like, go get waffles or something?" - "Yeah." (exit) - (left behind) "Really?"

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i was working on tag lines today:

1) This isn't the movies anymore (again (still))!
2) Die Hardest. Die Fastest. Die Strongest.
3) Twice the action, three times the weaponry, and not half bad.
4) The best thing to hit Goshen since John Dillinger
5) Goshen: Apocalypse: Ressurection: III
6) Fighting evil with no fourth wall.
7) A theatre festival. An unexpecting audience. A fatal mistake.

post your own

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So, I thought I had told the blog about this idea, but Michelle just pointed out that I haven't yet. I just told people, we chuckled, and I didn't write it down. Here it is, before any of us forget:

What could be a funnier addition to an action comedy than a weapons vending machine? Merely insert a quarter and get the object of your deadly desires. I'm sure that such a machine would include things ranging from battle-axes to AK-47s to throwing knives. Now, this vending machine should really have a person on the inside holding all of the weapons. The not-in-the-machine actors could then hold out a coin, the in-the-machine actor would take it and hand them their weapon. The weapon vending machine could then move around throughout the play. Yes. A traveling weapon vending machine.

Now, the way I originally imagined it, the good guys and the bad guys have their last face-off at the weapons vending machine. Throughout the course of the show, they've been purchasing things from the machine, but these keep getting broken in the heat of battle. The ax is used to strike a zombie in the back and it runs off with it, the AK-47 runs out of bullets at an inopportune time (or is tied into a knot by someone's super-human strength), the throwing knives get lodged into the walls of the mortuary in the mortuary scene (did I tell you about the mortuary scene?), etc. But at the climactic end, both the good guys and the bad guys are out of money. Woops! Ninja fight ensues. The weapons vending machine robot thing joins in. It'll be a party.

Here's an alternate way of doing things. Early in the play, one of the good-guys is confronted by a beautiful woman who asks if she can borrow a quarter to buy a soda. This beautiful woman turns out the be in league with the sleazy and spiky-haired bad guy (modeled off of this guy that we saw at the screening of "Corduroy" at New World). When the final scene comes around, the good guys are broke, and the bad guys have the quart they borrowed from the good guys. Chaos ensues.

Post comments.

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I'm sure we can find a good way to run across police cars on the floor. We should also do some stuff with forced perspective (something to nab from film). For instance, one of the characters could be running across stage as a toy police car drives behind the door (Bruce's mouth) way upstage. Quite the effect, no?

Did I already tell the blog about the weapons vending machine?

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My favorite ideas from Last Action Hero were sudden realizations of how to get the film genre on stage. For example: use of slow motion movement in extreme moments. And use of excess - 100 cars with sirens going, not just 5 or 6. Excessively yelling every line. Guns and knives hanging off of every inch of someone's body.

And a question to the set designer: can we get tops of cars somehow on the floor (preferably cop cars, with siren lights) so we can run across them in a chase scene?

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My notes from Last Action Hero:

The Obvious:
Helecopters
Holidays
Revenge
Sky Scrapers w/ people falling off them
Kids taken hostage
Hidden weapons - lots of them
Sharpshooter - doesn't even look

Less So:
Everyone at mob funeral carrying a gun
Hamlet - First Action Hero: "To be or not to be? [lights cigar] Not to be. [explosion]"
Close-ups on boots - esp. walking on police cars
Hero almost kicks in door, then trys knob and opens it gently
"The bad puns... the voice... the rock music... it's got to be!"

So it was a fairly straight forward attempt to do exactly what we're doing - but on screen. And (i can't get over this) directed by the director of Die Hard.

Hoo-ah!

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so courtney papa says we have hit her genre. you wouldn't believe the stuff she rattles off once you get her going. i'm forgetting it all now, but i'm hoping she'll post. in the meantime, here's an email she sent, and I quote:
....
"some more movies you should see: *transporter, transporter 2, *speed, speed 2 (this is really bad, even I can't sit through the whole thing), last action hero, independence day, con air, the rock, *buffy the vampire slayer, *run
down (excellent comedy action), kuffs (really bad), rush hour and rush hour 2 (great examples), i spy (which again is really bad), johnny english (really bad, but attempts to be an action comedy and it has mr. bean in it.), *extreme ops (again really bad, but so good you get quotable lines)., *broken arrow (oh this is a really bad one, but i love it)

I am sure I will think of more as time passes... the ones with a * next to them, I own and you can borrow."
....

thanks, courtney! can't wait to hear more!

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yar... scurvy mates... ye best keep bloggin' or ay'll bite yer eyes out.

oh.. by the way... there should probably be pirates.

Or maybe not.

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