characters?
I found this link via one of the other links in Eric's post below. A character contest! When you look closely, you'll see that they're actually using the word "character" to mean "person" and the winning person - the best, most interesting person/character - gets a TV show. But, you might ask, shouldn't characters be more complex than just a series of traits?
NO WAY! NOT IN AN aCTioN ComEDy! Give me a list and I'll give you a hero. So...I propose we start our own "character contest" (with better questions than USA Network's) and use them in our show.
Here are some questions to start with:
- Which limb could you live without?
- What has been your most impressive response to broken glass?
- Give us your five best one-liners.
- What do you grab onto when falling from high places in order not to die?
- List all kitchen items you are able to use as weapons at a moment's notice.
- What kind of vehicle(s) do you drive, and what kind of loud noises do they make? What do you do when they break down?
And finally:
You are trapped in an elevator. On top of the elevator is a Norwegian bully with a chainsaw. Outside the elevator is a group of 50 ninja warriors practicing their art. In the elevator with you are three pairs of shoes, some cigarettes, and a boom box. What do you do?
Comments
Ok, here's the deal.
Give the Norwegian two of the pairs of shoes. Trick him into thinking that they are food and the he is a Swede. For a few moments, he'll chop up the shoes with the chainsaw while say "Bork Bork Bork." Next, tie the last pair of shoes together--hold onto them for later. Set the boombox on the loudest volume, and tune into a mid-80s soft Jazz station. In a fit of blind panic, the elevator will try to escape the jazz by hurling itself through the roof of the building. You must then leap from the elevator and sail to the ground, where you lasso a suspension bridge with the shoes and slide to safety. The cigarette is for smoking and looking cool as you descend. Meanwhile, the Norwegian--now having national identity crisis--plumets back to the building and lands in the middle of a confused group of 50 ninjas. The Norwegian has no trouble defeating the first 49, but then finds that his blade has been clogged with ninja guts. The last ninja is much larger and skilled than his late companions. He defeats the Norwegian bully and leaps out of the building to find the person who wrecked such havoc on his training (that's you). As you are sliding down the suspension bridge, you see a falling ninja. You press the cigarette onto the wing of a passing sea-gull, igniting its feathers. The sea-gull flies into the ninjas face and both of them panic. They fall (twice as quickly as before) into the lagoon, where they are hit repeatedly (and comically) by passing jet-skis. They are then mauled by sharks. Your cigarette just finished, you step of the suspension bridge and head for the bar, another lunchbreak is about to get started.
Posted by: Ben Jacobs | March 27, 2006 4:17 PM
brilliant! i think we have our first scene! and i think this should be moved to the main page so everyone reads it!
Posted by: michelle | March 28, 2006 12:37 AM