Fear/Falling Blog

this play is not about OCD - this play is about jamie and the people around her. this play is also about the edge of normalcy - the line between normal and obsessive. this play is about our perceptions of that line.

i had a roommate in college who induced vomiting - but he wasn't crazy or obsessive or anything, he was feeling sick from eating a lot of chocolate. in college we all ate a lot of chocolate, but we weren't crazy or obsessive or anything, we liked chocolate. afterwards he felt better. he decided that was trick he should remember in the future if he ever found himself sick from eating too much chocolate again. i don't know if he has since or not.

jamie is on the edge. is she obsessive? i don't know. she shows signs, but so do tom, evan, wendy and myself. sometimes i will sit in front of my computer for an hour adjusting minute details in a line of PHP or CSS or XHTML code. i'm either crazy or i get paid to do it or i'm picky about what i produce.

as you approach you characters and fill them with life, remember that we're talking about people - not OCD people or NORMAL people or CRAZY people or any other classification of people. you don't have to play anything, or act like someone with OCD, or put on airs of anything other than being human. people sweep their floors and count and justify text and eat and don't step on cracks. those are all things people do.

i don't know if this helps. this is a quote or two from chuck mee who has an approach to playwriting and theatre-making that i really appreciate. this first quote is about Joseph Chaikin's theory of random emotion, from which he approaches theatre. this is a philosophy that i think is also central to some of the seemingly 'random' or 'fractured' emotions of michelle's characters.

I think there are things that everyone feels at least once every 15 minutes: embarrassment, for example, or humiliation, from no-where, without apparent cause; sudden grief, anxiety, dread, distraction - as though a spirit or monster of some kind had passed overhead; regret, impatience, hatred, and unreasoning rage. It's not the same for everyone. Some people I know feel none of those things, but instead, every 15 minutes they feel vengeful, jealous - they are immobilized by envy, a longing to possess something or someone, greed, lust, a wish to put something in their mouths.

he also has some advice to the actors that could be relevant:

My advice is probably useless. I think actors should throw themselves into the ocean of text in the same way that I throw myself into this ocean of material that comes into my plays, and just somehow trust that their instincts and thoughts will sort it all out for them. If you try to apply any one set of standards to understanding it, that's reductionist; you'll probably work against it. If you try to work intellectually, you'll lose; if you try to understand it psychologically, you'll lose; if you try to understand it as a political argument, you'll lose. But if you throw yourself into the middle of all those things that are at play, then your intelligence - which includes your head and your heart and your neurons and your cells - will work it through for you.

but whatever else you do, remember that this is a play about people trying to make sense out of the world. people falling in love and struggling in relationships, and struggling with work, and food, and everything else we all struggle with. this is not an issue play about OCD or anorexia or bullemia or perfectionism or anxiety disorder or any other lable.

things are coming together in amazing ways already. i'm really excited to see where everything sorts out in the end. this is fun material and a fun cast.

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with danny and the deep blue sea officially under our belts, we've just finished our second week of all-out fear/falling rehearsals. i've never done this sort of collaborative collage theatre before, which had me nervous, but like all theatre i've worked on there comes a time when it begins to fall together. that time is now. suddenly, over the last few days, i've seen a play emerging out of all our hard work. the cast is entertaining to the last, and rehearsals are a blast - leaving me worn out and entirely excited to come back for another round the next day.

pieces of set continue to appear, and it's looking great. people are doing amazing things with potato chips, scrap paper and plastic cups - and deanne is keeping us (more-or-less) on task. and i need to go to bed.

So after a long hiatus, I'm back in business! Here are some physical behaviors that come with some of the disorders we've talked about:

OCD:
Frequently washing hands, showering, or brushing teeth or the overuse of items to hide body smells
Constantly cleaning, straightening, and ordering certain objects
Repeatedly checking zippers and buttons on clothing
Checking lights, appliances, or doors again and again to be sure they are turned off or closed
Repeating certain physical activities, such as sitting down and getting up from a chair
Hoarding objects, such as newspapers
Asking the same question or saying the same thing over and over
Avoiding public places or taking extreme measures to prevent harm to yourself or others
Religious rituals, such as constant silent praying

Anxiety:
Trembling, twitching, or shaking.
Feeling of fullness in the throat or chest.
Breathlessness or rapid heartbeat.
Lightheadedness or dizziness.
Sweating or cold, clammy hands.
Excessive startle reflex.
Muscle tension, aches, or soreness (myalgias).
Fatigue.
Sleep problems, such as the inability to fall asleep or stay asleep, early waking, or restless, unsatisfying sleep.

Here is a link to a site where you can search for various disorders, including eating disorders as well to read up more on symptoms, physical and emotional behaviors, etc.
http://www.santacruzvna.org/healtheducation/index.html

hope this is helpful and i'll be posting more soon!